Currant
by Imyoshi
Summary: Zwei, Remnant's number one corgi, treasured his lovable owner. Ruby Rose was brave, kind-hearted, lonely. She always watched her pack pairing off but never had a playmate of her own. Human mating was a fickle topic. Too much tiptoeing, not enough paw shaking and tummy rubs. Taking his leash into his stubby paws, he roped one clueless Jaune Arc into his matchmaking prowess. Ruff!


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of RWBY.

* * *

**Currant**

**By: Imyoshi**

Sometimes a dog had to do what a dog had to do.

Zwei adored his owner, Cookie Eater, or other times; Ruby Rose.

He slept on her bed—she had a tender face—licked her cookie crumbled cheeks, drank from her secret stash of two-percent milk, chewed on her gratifying boots, tugged at her jaunty cape, and played that complex game of fetch. Never could he find that blasted stick. All and all, this dog's life was perfect, except for one major flaw that stuck out like a sore paw.

Ruby Rose was jealous. Not appearing so, but a dog smelled emotions, and hers radiated loneliness. She envied her fellow pack's mates. Whenever the other three ventured out, they each had a mate to hold onto, but not her. Never her. Today would be no exception as her companions planned to spend the night at something called a dance club with their partners in an activity dubbed couple's night. The minute his owner had learned of the inevitable departure, she reeked of desperation and isolation, shoulders slumped and no kick in her step.

So he had jumped into her lap and demanded attention. The plan regularly worked to soothe her troubling emotions, but not today. Her tummy rubs were lackluster, weak, dull. Everything that a dog noticed. She didn't even look at him, eyes focused on the plaid carpet with her lips curved downward and hand slowing between every rub. When it came to a halt, Zwei right then and there knew something had to be done.

_Bark!_

She flinched, jumping. "Oh. I'm sorry, Zwei. I kinda zoned out there, huh?"

Understatement of this still very young century, but this canine digressed. Maybe a walk outside would clear Ruby's troubling mind? No one frowned under the sun. Not even Chewtoy Blake, or so he thought. Never had he seen her outside while not hiding in the luminous shade, reading those tasty books of hers. Either way! He rolled off Ruby's lap and retrieved his extra-long leash, drooling on the raw leather. Zwei soon barked and ran up to the door, scratching in need. Ruby giggled, kneeling to scratch his tummy.

"Aw! Does someone want a walkie? Okay. Give me your leash."

Mission accomplished.

He brushed his paws against the floor, ready to burst forward like a speeding bullet. Then Ruby made the mistake of opening the door without holding the dog underneath her arm. Zwei nearly made his owner topple once the entrance opened up. She only managed to prevent herself from falling by slamming her body against Team JNPR's door. The crash resonated in the hallway, but he heard none of it with her holding him still with all her might.

"Hey, Ruby. What's up?"

Both the corgi and Ruby turned to find one of her friends standing in the doorway with his hand on the handle. Zwei instantly drooled at the sight of his favorite wet noodle. Harmless. Funny. Always had a habit of scratching behind his ears. Best of all, he gave the best tummy rubs! Any leash tugging stopped so Zwei could run up to Jaune's legs and wag his tail excessively. His adorableness got met with Jaune leaning down to rub his fat tummy. Things were looking up.

"Hi, Jaune!"

This corgi surrendered to the rubbing of the tummy, drooling with his fur back against the heated carpet. Nothing beat a rub under rough fingers. Jaune Arc wasn't afraid to scratch deep. He only came out his nirvana when his scratching lessened, tilting his head to see the dismay. Imagine his surprise when his once moderately depressed owner was talking adamantly with her arms moving randomly to a story that demanded spectacular movement. Jaune only weakened his itching to add in his input of his own, enthralled by Ruby's way of storytelling. They laughed. They grinned. Somewhere in between Ruby playfully slapped him on the arm, but that got lost in the shuffle of contentment.

Zwei noticed the exchange intently, turning to sit on his butt. His owner completely forgot about his existence. Gone went the darkness clawing at Ruby's inner mind, and in its place stood the cheerful demeanor he came to love. They discussed comics, those tasty treats in a bounty of ink, weapon maintenance—that was more eighty percent Ruby and twenty percent him, but he listened to every word regardless—and this pooch stopped drooling to tilt his noggin and _think_.

Dogs saw the world in one way, black and white. If it walked like a duck, quacked like a duck, and looked like a duck, then it was a duck. Being colorblind sort of forced that ideology, but regardless, this Duck Expert saw it. Potential. A possibility for something more.

Jaune Arc had the potential to keep Ruby Rose happy.

Her positive mood reflected that. Not just anyone could erase the funk from a person's aura so easily. Even Yang, when giving a supporting shoulder to lean on and graciously squeezed her in category five level hugs, only helped so much. Lingering thoughts were difficult to evade, yet, somehow, someway Jaune's bright character vanquished them. Chances were neither of the thunderheads noticed it. If only humans weren't so fickle to matters of mating or emotions. Tiptoeing turned old fast in the Animal Kingdom. Still, Zwei saw the chance to kill two birds with one bone.

What if Ruby accepted Jaune as her mate like how the other girls had partners of their own?

Things could work. It seemed like a solid idea. Begone, loneliness. Bye, envy. Good riddance, blues. All that and more for the noodle talking to her about some show they both excitedly discussed in an open hallway. Jaune even had approvable qualities in a human male specimen. Tallness. Kindness. Broad shoulders and an ability to work around chaos, ergo Nora Valkyrie, aka, possible offspring, and still retain his sanity with a wide smile. Sure. Not the best of fighters, lower on the spectrum, but his owner already, her barks, not his, kicked bad guy butt. So from this Duck Expert's keen perspective, showing Ruby the potential mate standing in front of her could only prove beneficial.

Now if only that fickleness of humans didn't come into play. Human mating rituals were confusing. Relationships were exhausting, tiring, and more. So much more. Zwei witnessed it all between Weiss and Neptune, Blake and Sun, and whatever guy Yang roped in that week. Sniffing butts was so much easier than talking for hours on end.

_Sniff!_

Oh well. Zwei enjoyed a challenge. Helping Tai through two mates had been like running through a minefield covered in veterinary needles and fleas. Thriving in that environment had required every ounce of his canine abilities and instincts. Compared to that? Two dorks should be a walk in the dog park. Just look at his owner laughing at some cheesy joke. He only needed to give her a slight nudge in the right direction. Jackpot. Now, where to begin?

He felt his leash tugged.

"Okay. It's been super, Jaune, but I gotta give Zwei a walk before he gets all grumpy." No! He immediately snatched his leash from her hand and wagged his tail at Jaune. Ruby clapped her hands together. "Aw! He wants you to give him a walkie."

Jaune paused for the briefest of moments before grabbing the leash. "Are you sure, Zwei?"

_Bark!_

Ruby grinned. "Seems like a yes to me."

"He seems chipper?"

By chipper, Jaune meant the way Zwei ran tiny circles on the floor while chasing his wagging tail, appearing irresistibly cute. That forced a smile on his face, and he walked out of his room for Zwei to lead the way with Ruby following. Zwei instantly rejoiced at the borrowed time. Good. Good! Thinking on his tail had stopped them from separating, but what now? This corgi hadn't the wildest clue. Leashing walking would only accomplish so much.

_Huff!_

For now, while he pondered on a possible plan, he might as well enjoy the walk around Beacon's backyard. A tug on the leash here, some turning there, and soon the two dorks found themselves in Beacon's garden with Zwei leading them. Jaune yelled out _heel _maybe once or twice. What that word meant he hadn't the foggiest idea. Maybe push onward? Yes! Onward!

Ruby laughed when Jaune almost tripped from trying to hold Zwei back. "He must like you. Zwei's never this happy when I give him walkies."

Jaune nervously laughed with his feet buried into the dirt. "Oh, you know me, the dog whisperer—gah!"

Her laughter persisted when Zwei pulled him down to the floor and dragged him across the grassy garden. The corgi drooled at the joyful sound of his owner's howling, hopping through the thorny foliage. So far, this walkie was doing wonders to keep her happy, and the source of that unrivaled happiness came from Jaune's actions. Huh? Zwei stopped to wag his tail with Jaune's body sliding up to him. Laughter plus walkies minus team divided by Jaune equaled joy. Yes. He had a plan. As long as Zwei twiddled the adventures, he could make this work. So how to push the bone?

He looked to the side when Jaune groaned into the dirt and noticed a nearby stick.

Wagging his tail, he scurried over to the stick and came back to drop it near Jaune's head. The Arc turned his face on the dirt—after some persuasive licking to the cheek—and found the drooled covered branch on the floor.

"Fetch? Is that it?" Bark! Jaune sighed and stood up, dusting himself clean. He grabbed the stick and dropped the leash. "Okay, go get it!"

The majestic object flew through the air, and Zwei left a dust trail behind him.

He ran like the wind, following the spinning stick into the crusade of trees. Out of sight, it went. A sense of dread clawed inside his gut. What if he couldn't find the stick? What if he never threw it and it was nothing more than an illusion? No. Zwei pursued the hopeless dream and sniffed the ground for Jaune's scent. His tail wagged. Sniff, sniff, scurry! Must find it, got to locate it. Stick!

There it was, on the floor, illuminated by the sun's rays in glistening, juicy beauty.

He tentatively crawled forward to make sure it was genuine. Took a small, slow bite and howled when teeth met bark.

No way! No bone-flipping way! Zwei couldn't believe it. He found the stick. The stick! Jaune threw the stick. He chased after the stick. He found it. Now he was running back for another game of fetch. When Jaune patted him affectionately on the head before throwing it for a second time, and Zwei found it poking out a bush, the pooch rejoiced. Already he approved of this man. Now this was a game of fetch, nothing like how Ruby played.

They played for a good while.

He threw. Zwei chased. Doggy fetched, and Ruby awed in the background. As much as Zwei felt like playing for another hour or two or four, he shook his head and thought of how to help Jaune impress Ruby. Playing games encouraged change, but she needed to see him as something more than a stick thrower. Spending more time would help them create a stronger bond and give her more time to think of a better plan.

So with that in mind, Zwei ran back with the stick and bumped into Jaune's shin, dropping the twig on the floor. The minute he leaned down, Zwei jumped right into his confused arms and cuddled in deep. Silly Jaune held him up in his arms without two words to rub together. Zwei took full advantage and licked his helpless face. Lick! Lick! Lick! Not a corner of his face was free from drool. Somewhere in the background, Ruby giggled and probably snapped a photo or two with that Scroll device, but Zwei kept on licking his nose.

Cute and cuddly. Cute and cuddly.

"Awww!" Ruby gushed. "Maybe you should give him walkies more often."

"We could take turns." Jaune offered, twisting and turning his face away from an eager tongue. "Minus all the licking, it sounds fun."

She pursed her lips and poked Zwei in the cheek. "What do you say, Zwei? Do you want to share the walkies and fetch with Jaune?"

Zwei stopped to drool and wag his tail. A perfect setup. More walks and games of fetch meant more time together. He answered with a chirpy bark, and Ruby tickled his belly with his tongue now licking her nose. She cooed, Jaune sighed. Free from the slobbering drool he was, for now. Zwei wouldn't allow his face to remain drool-free for long, but right now, right this second, he kicked his stubby legs in the air as Ruby played with his fabric-soft tummy. With Jaune holding him up, and her teasing him, they remained in close proximity.

A good start.

Twisting and turning in the Arc's hold, Zwei rolled out of his arms and landed paw first on the grass. Time for that walk now. He rightfully deserved it, and nothing beat walking underneath the sun with a stick in his mouth. Jaune merely grabbed his leash with Ruby hanging on his shoulder. They talked about nonsense as the canine took to a more casual pace, all his choice. Neither of them figured that out. How could they? Recognizing that Zwei gave them time to bond flew over their heads. None the wiser, as humans termed.

None the wiser.

Oh! A squirrel! He suddenly sprinted to the left and caused Jaune's arm to fumble into Ruby's chest. Dummy quickly apologized. Er? That gave him an idea. Contact, humans enjoyed touch. If he were to manipulate such a trait, maybe he could invoke something beyond apologies and mishandling?

Tugging to the right, he forced Jaune's arm to bump into Ruby's shoulder this time. She kneeled to avoid his arm. Excellent! Zwei then maneuvered back, forward, and then a zigzag that ended with Jaune's arm suddenly hugging her shoulder and pulling her close. Ruby was forced to rest her non-squished arm on his chest with both of them blinking at one another. That deafening silence turned into half-hearted laughs.

Jaune untangled himself free from Ruby's shoulder. "Oops, sorry, Ruby."

She balanced on her boot's sole. "It's nothing. Zwei could be a handful sometimes. I should know."

He switched the leash to his right hand. Zwei barked. Bad move, dummy. Some tricky maneuvering, thank bacon squirrels littered the garden for discrepancy reasons, and the noodle found himself pressed up against the cinnamon roll, chest-to-chest, arm wrapped halfway around her waist with both her hands flushed to her sides. That bumbling awkwardness doubled with Zwei sitting on his rump to watch a firework or two unfold. The first time they recovered quickly, but this time they disentangled slowly with those half-hearted grins turning nervous.

Zwei knew when to push and prod—a dog's nose smelled all emotions—and tore Jaune away from Ruby. He dashed to chase after another squirrel. Almost caught one, too, until an imposing force held him back. What was this? Some unknown energy pulled back against his need to scamper? Zwei turned around to discover Jaune holding him back, using both hands with his feet burrowing into the weak-friction dirt. Humph! Useless. A little added extra _oomph _could snap that leash if he so wanted, but he peered behind the Arc's shoulder to find Ruby staring wordlessly at the pointless struggle. She appeared enthralled, rubbing her chest from where she had been pressed up against Jaune's.

Unlike Jaune, Ruby knew of Zwei's strength. An Aura-powered dog far outclassed civilian pups. The leash was more for commodity and loyalty. Zwei accepted it for her and her alone, nothing else, nothing less. Jaune holding him back made him appear mighty. An alpha. Zwei felt like snapping the leash out of principle but humbly growled. Just this once he could give up alpha dog supremacy for his owner's lonely heart.

Zwei experimentally yanked on his leash to inquire Jaune's fervor. Surprisingly, he met the tugging with equally, if not more dominant authority. A few more jerks. More impressive might. Bark! Not bad. Anymore hauling would rip the leash in two. First, show kindness, strength, and then dominance, but did Jaune have it in him to be dominating?

"Heel, Zwei! Leave that poor squirrel alone."

Zwei stopped entirely. That wasn't dominance. That was caring, sympathy in its highest form. He learned such things from watching Ruby grow up, and she was the light of his colorblind life. Coincidence? Nope! Not a chance in this monotone world.

Zwei waited.

Jaune walked up to him and knelt to pet him on the head with a smile Zwei watched Ruby practice in the bathroom mirror every morning. She called it her heroic smile. Somehow it came naturally to his blond dolt. Jaune then pointed at a lone squirrel hiding behind a tree, watching them talk.

"Promise not to harm any squirrels, and I promise to sneak you in some bacon every morning, deal?"

Oh yeah.

Zwei planned to matchmake the living heck out of this guy.

One bark meant yes. Two barks meant yes. Three barks meant yes. Zwei ended up tackling him to the floor to lick his face all over again. He only stopped to rest on Jaune's heaving chest to drool at the sight of Ruby sitting on the grassy floor to poke his stomach. Jaune was too busy wiping the drool off his face to notice Ruby smiling fondly at him. Zwei noticed. He barked to pull her out of her stupor and crashed into her chest.

Zwei couldn't remember much after she started scratching behind the ears, only that they walked back and said _goodbye _at their doors.

He regained consciousness when Ruby brushed his fur with him resting flat on her knees, sitting on her bed with her feet hanging off the side. Soft fingers combed and tickled his skin. When Zwei turned his body to claw happily at the distracted Rose, she cooed and pinched his paws. Then she captured him in a snuggle-fest.

"Did you have fun with Jaune today." Ruby hugged him tightly, almost squeezing him until he popped. "He's nice, huh? And kind, and tall, like a noodle—but strong, and a bit of a dork. But don't tell him I told you that, okay? It's our little secret."

Zwei happily drooled on the bed. Uh-huh. So pure. Keep talking about Noodle Boy, got to get those rusty gears turning. He did not spend a good lick of daylight playing tug-o'-war with Jaune only to lose on purpose. Puppy pride took a hit.

"And while you were busy fetching sticks, Mr. Nosy Butt." Zwei stopped drooling. Was it a crime now to fetch sticks? "He asked if I wanted to go to Vale next Saturday. His newest comic comes out, and I need some stuff for Crescent Rose anyway, so I said yeah. Should be fun."

Ruby might not have noticed her arms hugging her precious cinnamon bun extra firm, but said deplorable treat did. Nothing major, but a start. Puppy steps. Then she rested the mutt back on her thighs and daydreamed between the gentle strokes. Same as before, her rubs slowly grew lackluster. Only difference was the small smile and missing aroma of loneliness. Zwei chose not to bark and snap her out of her radiating happiness.

Puppy steps.

**...**

Another day, another walkie.

Zwei dutifully walked out the dorm room this Saturday morning with Ruby holding his leash. He ruffled his tiny paws on the door, barking loudly in the hallway. No answer. Not even a tumble of sounds to indicate if anyone was inside.

"Maybe he's not home, boy."

Oh, he was home, this corgi smelled him like delicious bacon. Humans and their inferior noses, when would they learn to trust a dog's keen scent? Still, no answer. Not good enough. Zwei clawed mercilessly on the door until a sleepy looking Jaune opened it with his hair disheveled and sand in his eyes.

He never stood a chance.

Zwei tackled the Arc awake by headbutting right into his chest. A _gasp _passed. Not sure if it was Ruby's or Jaune's, but whatever. He quickly bit down on his pant's threading and pulled him outside with Ruby mutely watching. Then Zwei wagged his tail and seized the leash, spitting it down on Jaune's chest.

Ruby finally recovered and hovered over the toppled leader, smiles and all. "He must _really _like you."

"Lucky me." Jaune gasped. Zwei ran up and licked his face. "Alright. Alright! You win! I'm up. I'm up."

Ruby hid a growing smile behind her palm, giggling loud enough to make Jaune sigh. He seized the leash and allowed Zwei to drag him outside in a brisk pace. The dog ignored the _it's too early for this_ comment and wagged his tail while coming up with a new plan. Yesterday's leash fiasco had been swell, but too much and it would grow stale and too obvious. Subtly was the key. He led them around the garden, forced to ignore the squirrels in favor of future bacon. A devious business strategy, but Zwei marched onward. There he spotted it, hidden behind a few trees.

A rose bush.

Nothing out of the ordinary for an animal, except for insects, but humans had a strange custom of sharing flowers to express emotion. Ruby was even named partially out of one. It would stand to corgi knowledge that she might appreciate a flower from one Mr. Arc, but how to separate them long enough to make his move?

_Snap!_

Huh? Zwei peeked down to find a stick on the floor. He wagged his tail and bit down, ready to run over and demand a game of fetch, only to stop midway and tilt his tiny head. Fetch. Of course. He could separate them with a rousing game of fetch. Fetch held all the secrets of life, like tennis balls or the mailman. With that plan in mind, Zwei ran up to Jaune and dropped the stick, using the puppy-dog eyes trick to get his way.

"You want to play fetch?" Jaune rhetorically asked. "Fine. But remember our deal. No squirrel hunting."

He barked and Jaune threw the stick. Ruff! Phase one of his plan was complete. All Zwei had to do now was pretend not to locate the branch. Ruby always sought him out, calling him a dummy whenever he took too long. Rules should apply to this taller dork. Finding the stick, he hid it behind a tree before diving into the nearby rose bush.

The waiting game.

Not his best game, but sacrifices had to be made, and sure enough, Jaune came looking for him a few minutes later, calling his name out. Zwei waited. He waited some more. Then just as Jaune turned around to call out Ruby's name, he jumped out of the bush with a rose in his mouth.

"Oh, there you are, Zwei. Huh? What's that in your mouth?" Jaune plucked a thorny plant out of the corgi's muzzle. "Is this... is this a rose?"

"Jaune? Zwei?" Ruby yelled. "Where are you two, you dummies?"

Right on cue.

Jaune never had a chance to yell back with Ruby appearing behind him. Zwei bumped into his legs with extra girth. He turned Jaune around with the rose in hand, stunning the Arc. Silver eyes exploded upon seeing the flower thrust to her chest from a wide-eyed Jaune.

"Ruby!"Jaune looked down at Zwei to find him playfully chewing on a stick that wasn't there before. "Um."

"F-For me?"

He coughed awkwardly and rubbed his neck. "Uh, yeah. Here."

A tentative, slender hand reached out and softly gripped the rose, never noticing the bite marks underneath the stem. Zwei watched intently during his stick chewing. Pinkening cheeks and romance novels that Chewtoy Blake read out loud when no one else was in the room, pointed to all good signs.

Hook, line, and—ball!

Poor Jaune got dragged around the garden by Zwei's leash, chasing some ball with Ruby staying behind to sniff the rose petals with a growing, glimmering simper.

Later, they didn't talk about it since Jaune busied himself by patching up his wounds from being forced through a prickly, thorny rose bush. Several. Some more than once. Ruby apologized for Zwei, making sure to help pluck out thorns from his arms. If she lingered around, rubbing the solid muscle underneath for a beat too long, Jaune remained eternally dense to the moment while wincing from removing a stubborn thorn from his cheek.

…

Zwei particularly loathed bedtime.

Not the sleeping part. What dog didn't love to laze around and sleep? No. Getting to dreamland required more energy than what should be allowed. Why his owner slept on the top bunk pained the pup-sized dog, with every night him scratching on the side of Weiss' bedpost to attract Ruby's attention, and every night the numbskull fell asleep before she heard his pleas. Every. Single. Night. Groan! He clawed upward in impressive puppy-power acrobatics and rolled onto his back when he finally hit the fluffy mattress.

Haggard. Exhausted. Sleepy.

Ruby's loud snoring did little to soothe his tiredness, but her pillow-like face would make sleeping fun. So he turned onto his stomach, stretching his stubby legs out with a whimper. Dog years were rough on a corgi with a capital ruff. A few steps later and he stood in front of her snoozing mouth, more than ready to jump on for a nap, but he noticed a remnant of dinner on her cheek. Delicious smell was delicious, smelling just like fried chicken and corn.

_Rumble!_

A tail began wagging. A late-night snack before bedtime never hurt anyone. Oum knew how many times he licked away cookie crumbs from Ruby's cheeks. She was partly to blame for his squishy physique with her messy eating habits. Not all dogs had chubby paws or huggable bellies.

Zwei leaned forward and licked her cheeks, tasting mouth-watering—!

Ruby giggled in her sleep. "Stop it, Jaune. That tickles."

A corgi stopped.

His tail ceased wagging with all signs of weariness entirely gone. Did this four-legged ball of cuteness hear her right? _Lick_. Ruby tittered again, repeating Jaune's name in her sleep with a foolish grin. She drooled from the corner of her mouth, oblivious to the world. Another lick and another mention of his name, although softer in tone. Breathless almost.

Oh. Oh! _Oh!_ Zwei's tail wagged at the delightful revelation. Ruby was dreaming of the noodle and a pleasant one. Best of all—_lick_—he had some window into her dreams, possibly even affecting them. Lick. Lick. Giggle! Ruff! Zwei then licked Ruby on the nose, and her body language changed.

"Jaune..."

She spun on her bed and seized Zwei in a teddy-bear-like grip, snuggling the dog deep into her chest with her heart racing against his ear. Whatever yelped he planned got smothered between her arms. He struggled to no avail. She snoozed her chin on top of his noggin, bunching her body together around the pup. Stubby legs attempted to fight but only ended up shaking uselessly in the air with her hug tightening and legs scooting together.

Sooner rather than later, he gave up and burrowed into her hold. Guess the fun was over.

For now.

**...**

Ruby woke up with a pep in her step and overall sunshine mood.

Part of her earlier dream remained, and she blushed before any of her teammates noticed. Out of her bed and into her cape, she snagged Zwei away from his bowl and water and rubbed her nose on his snout. Her good mood demanded a fun Sunday morning.

"You want to go to the dog park today?"

Zwei blinked. What kind of absurd question was that? Of course, he wanted to run and play with other dogs. Why were they still here? Humans were admirable, and Chewtoy Blake held a special place in his heart, but sometimes a dog needed more of his kind to burn off stress, and tugging dork number one and two required more thinking power than he preferred. Zwei dragged Ruby to the nearest Bullhead once they walked outside of Beacon.

Half an hour later this corgi was with his kind, unable to stay still. The one thing Zwei loved about the dog park, other than meeting his friends and sniffing exotic butts, was the chance to stretch his chubby legs. Ruby kept him on a leash at Beacon, but not here. Not with all this grass and trees around. Zwei almost gave in to his animal instincts and frolicked, but nope! Not today. As much as he hated to admit it, this dog was at his wit's end. Thinking and planning was never his strong suit, always preferring action over words, but too much push could ruin everything. He needed help, someone who planned to his heart's content, someone with more brains than bark.

Zwei knew of only one dog.

He checked to make sure the coast was clear. Ruby was busy messing with her Scroll, probably playing some mindless rift-raft game. Nothing like stimulating fetch. At least it distracted her long enough to break away and locate his companion. His smell of fear was stronger than anyone else's he ever sniffed, and the world was crawling with fear-hunting beasts. Still, wasn't too difficult to find one of his fellow pooches, this one hid behind a tree, shivering like a leaf.

Courage.

A cowardly, purple dog that acted more scared-y cat than canine, but Zwei respected him. Not all dogs were fighters, like how not all dogs were thinkers.

Courage lacked confidence but made up for it in bravery and wit. The farmers he lived with almost seemed to get themselves into messy trouble—from the stories Courage told him—and had to rely on his intelligence and quick thinking to bust them out. Presumably, they dealt with more than just measly Grimm. Ghosts even. Zwei could use some of his smarts.

Jumping from the side, he practically scared Courage out of his skin with his purple-furred friend clinging to the nearest branch. Seconds later his friend recognized him and climbed down with a troubled frown. Some annoyed ruffs got passed. Zwei admitted it. He enjoyed scaring Courage, and that dog knew that, but fun and games later.

_Bark! Bark!_

There! He made his woes clear, sitting on his butt for an answer. Courage didn't disappoint, shifting from annoyed to contemplative like a switch. How his purple-colored companion managed to stand on two legs and walk in a thinking circle eluded him. Wait? Where did that notepad come from, and why wasn't he chewing it? Courage then pulled out an overly sized pencil from whatever pocket dimension that must exist in his fur and began scribbling and drawing. He did this for a while, making sounds somewhat resembling the human language and others sounding like gibberish. Very rarely had Zwei heard his fellow bacon lover bark, and today would not be one of those days.

A light bulb appeared over Courage's head. More scribbles. More walking on two legs. Then he finally turned and showed him a picture of two figures wrapped around a leash with their bodies smushed together. That drawing led to another image with them wobbling before falling to the floor. A few crudely drawn hearts appeared over the chewable art with Zwei's tail now wagging to the newest plan. He loved it. Force them together? Why didn't he think of that? Brilliant.

_Bark! Bark!_

He thanked his nerve-challenged friend by snatching the picture and scampering off with the intent to trap Jaune and Ruby with his leash. Courage waved with a hearty sigh. Zwei would've asked for his other companion's paws for a second opinion, but those were _two stupid dogs_.

**...**

Monday came like clockwork.

Zwei memorized the picture Courage drew for him before shredding it.

Rope them together with his leash, a solid plan that all came down to timing and distraction. Zwei already snagged Jaune into another walk. Wasn't too difficult. Puppy dog eyes were nature's _get out of puppy pound_ free card. He folded like a stack of playing cards. Ruby already learned to enjoy walking Zwei without actually walking him around. Not even she could keep up with him once his engine started, but ditzy memories later. Action now!

For this phase of his plan, Zwei moved slowly and quietly, no sudden bursts of speed this time. No wrong movements. Distracting them required him to blend into the woodwork. Easy enough. Left paw, right paw, back paw, forward. Zwei managed his time, strutted lazily, and soon Jaune and Ruby were talking about whatever. No longer did they pay him any attention during the leisure pace, losing focus in comics and boring school stuff.

Go time!

Before either noticed, too busy laughing about something Nora did, he ran around them in a single loop. Then he stopped, looked to make sure they were still distracted and did another run around during another fit of laughter. He kept at it. Running, checking, and racing again until a little under half of the leash remained. Once Jaune fumbled, Zwei went all in. Zoom! Zoom! A tuft of black and white fur pretended to chase after his tail, ignoring his owner's plea, tying them up in record time with Jaune's leash arm wrapping around Ruby's body. One final spin and the dog pulled firmly, wrapping them together. Balance quickly became an issue, and they fell on the floor with Jaune purposely falling first on the ground so Ruby could land on his chest.

Zwei drooled.

Jaune laid on his back to the grassy floor with Ruby's petite body pressed on top of his. Her chest pushed into his full torso, figure squishy soft against the leash bindings and muscles hiding underneath a worn hoodie. Noses brushed against one another with legs rubbed together. All forms of struggle resulted in rubbing their bodies and feeling everything underneath. Jaune remained quiet throughout the entire exchange.

Ruby huffed.

She groaned, helpless in her leather, ropey prison, feet kicking adorably out, arms struggling, and conclusively gave up. Ugh! Wackadoodle! She rested her exhausted head on a comfortable, warm pillow and lulled into the thump, thump sound beating against her ear. Strong. Vibrant. Her inner annoyance soothed against the lullaby. So, she pondered, how to break out of this mess?

"Uh, Ruby?"

A woozy head turned to stare at equally confused eyes. Blink. Blink. Silence, then a wordless scream. Steam practically whistled out of Ruby's ears, turning the reddish tint of her skin up three hues with her mouth gaping open. The entirety of the situation hit her like a flaming Bullhead. Again she struggled, grinding her frame against his, gradually realizing how well-built his body was from rubbing so much. Solid muscle teased her in the most excruciating ways. Then Jaune moved, and, well, friction worked against them both. Nylon leggings acted nothing like a layer of clothing. Ruby learned this the hard way, brushing her legs and squishing her chest against his as they grazed. Both of them inevitably tired out, gasping lungfuls of air.

Ruby froze.

Uh-oh, she felt it. Jaune's arm was wrapped protectively around her waist. Her entire body rested on top of his, collecting heat and fitting effortlessly into his. A glance up was her downfall. Their lips were so devilishly close, centimeters apart. Breaths tingled together in a dangerous, tempting dance. Ruby knew her raging heart thumped against his chest, feeling his mismatched with hers. Heat rose throughout her body. One wrong move. A sudden gasp or push forward. Anything and tempered lips would graze. Anything—!

_Bark!_

Zwei's bark snapped them out of their trance. Uh? Eh! Ruby suddenly remembered how she got stuck in this mess, shooting her precious corgi a rare glare with her head reclining on Jaune's torso. Vexation overpowered any other emotion Ruby Raging Rose felt.

"Zwei! Bad dog!"

Zwei masterfully remained ignorant, licking his leg. Snort! Silly, Ruby, this dog had noticed the heated exchange. No fooling Mother Nature. If he had decided to remain a bystander, then who knew, maybe baser instincts would have conquered them, but pushing them together like that wouldn't work. Nope, nope! They needed to pursue such a change on their own. Not in tight, leathery bondage. At least not until they were further in a relationship. However, miscellaneous discoveries and Chewtoy Blake level of perversions aside, he delighted in the potential he saw.

Zwei so owed that cowardly dog a leather boot.

…

Zwei noticed things were weird between Jaune and Ruby.

Freeing themselves from the leash had been the simple part—it was called rolling, something he learned year two as a pup—walking back to their dorm room had been more challenging. Awkward stares and fumbling words ruined any instant. Not even Zwei's adorable barking or tail wagging had cured the moment for its stillness, but he bore witness to a few hand brushes and shoulder touches that lingered for a bit too long. Their goodbyes were painful to watch. Then came the dry spell.

So far, the tenseness lasted for a few days with the two avoiding each other. Not good, not good at all. Saturday was tomorrow. Just around the corner. At this rate, they might postpone or cancel their trip to Vale. Zwei growled. He knew of one way to brighten her spirits, but did he value her happiness that much?

"Apologies, Ruby, but I have already made plans with Neptune. I cannot accompany you to the vet."

Ruby whined. "But Zwei likes you. You have enough treats to get to the vet and back. Yang and Blake already bailed. Please, Weiss."

Weiss offered her best apologetic shrug and left the room, leaving Ruby alone to pressure a shivering Zwei out from underneath the bed. She knelt on the floor and pressed her head sideways on the carpet, frowning at the way Zwei hid in the furthest corner. An arm reached out with clawing fingers, struggling to grab the dog, shaking even, but to no avail. Stubbornness ran in the family. Ruby whined just like her father whenever he tried to stuff nasty capsules into his mouth.

He someone buried deeper into that sharp corner.

"Come on, Zwei! You like the vet. He's got treats." Ruby rolled her eyes. Who was she kidding? Maybe some bargaining. "Okay, I'm desperate. What would it take for you to come out? Toys? Food? Games?"

Zwei almost growled. Bargaining? Ha! No way. The vet had shots and a chilly, metal object he pressed to his underbelly, but the rumble never came. Opportunity presented himself a golden retriever break. When it came to mates, dogs assumed an unwritten code. A mate must be reliable, unassailable, friendly, and forgiving, or R.U. F. F. for short. His owner was desperate to curse him into a trip to the vet while he, himself, was busy trying to repair the dry spell that had befallen over Jaune and Ruby. The way he saw, this might be a chance to amend that gap and push Jaune over to Ruby's favor in showing his reliableness. Excellent quality in a partner.

So Zwei made that extra apparent by acting out and speeding out of the room by forcing the door open with a headbutt and clawing at Team JNPR's entrance. Tiny paws scruffed on the hardwood with Ruby's steps not far behind. Jaune opened the door just in time. Zwei waggled his behind and tackled the Arc, turning over with some hope that Ruby received the message.

Message received.

She poked Zwei on the nose, booping her troubled doggy in the most heartfelt of ways. "Oh, do you want to go with Jaune to the vet?" Ruby said with something akin to relief. "Is that it? Okay. No problem, boy. We could do that."

"Not to be a party pooper, but don't I get a say in this?"

Her eyes snapped up. She appeared to have forgotten about Jaune or had profusely tried to ignore him. Not to say he had acted any better the past few days, but for her to dump off her problems on him demanded retaliation. Zwei ignored the tense atmosphere, shuffling deeper into Jaune's hold to win him over before Ruby ever had to say a word, but better if she didn't know that.

She laced her fingers together and leaned toward Jaune, puppy dog pout on full blast. "Could you... could you take him to the vet?"

He flinched. "Me?"

"I know it's weird, but Zwei absolutely hates the vet, but he seems to be okay with it if you take him." Ruby rambled for a good minute. "Could you please?"

"I don't know—?"

She invaded his space, leaning closer. "Please! Please! Please! I'll owe you one. No! I'll owe you two! So pretty please with sugar on top!"

"Okay, okay, I'll take him!"

Relief spilled out of her. She gratefully smiled. Shoulders relaxed, and she purposely lowered to rub Zwei's soft stomach. "Be a good boy for Jaune, okay? And no biting the doctor. He's only trying to make you feel better, dummy. A healthy Zwei is a happy Ruby."

Zwei openly groaned.

_The things he did for love._

**...**

Brownie points.

Bacon bits. Whatever trivial nonsense humans called them, Zwei managed to win Jaune a few. He better have. That trip to the vet left his bottom sore from the shot. At least when Jaune returned a bitter corgi to Ruby, she eased the situation with an appreciative smile and long-lasting hug, but not much had happened since their dynamic change. Dorks would be dorks and never follow their instincts. Leave it to Remnant's most renowned corgi, Weiss' very right words, not his, to fix this problem, too. Sometimes deviation played a vital role in mating. Physical appearance stirred reactions and bark, bark!

Not so long after Ruby decided it was time to stretch her legs and give Zwei his daily walk, the doggo escaped her clutches and thanked his lucky tail that Jaune was outside in the courtyard. Dummy hadn't been inside the room when Ren answered the door, and Zwei had no inkling to trying to pair Ruby up with him, not with that orange beast lurking inside. There wasn't enough doggy treats or bones in the world for him to attempt that one. Nope.

Minutes later, after a stressful workout, Jaune found Zwei with all four of his stubby legs pointed up, frozen, with his tongue rolled out. He only came outside to train, already heading back toward his room before discovering Zwei. Panic quickly resulted when Jaune called out his name, hoping to get a reaction out of the dog, only to find him unresponsive to his words or slight nudging of the foot. Sleep had crossed his mind, but dogs slept on their stomachs, and most rolled around when kicked or called out. Zwei never flinched. Just as he knelt to pick up the dog and race him off toward the kind vet, Zwei came back to life.

He tackled Jaune full force, forcing the ill-balanced Arc to the ground to rest comfortably on his face. Just then, Ruby walked in to find poor Jaune struggling to breathe with her corgi wagging his tail. The dog then moved and rested his butt on his chest, happy to see his owner. Not even the slight tension could erase her giddiness.

"Aw! That's so cute!"

Zwei stopped wagging his tail.

Cute. Cute? No. Not cute. Somehow his nefarious plan had backfired. He tried to make the Arc appear dependable by saving his life and winning more of the heart of the cookie-loving maiden, not cutesy. His mistake. Ruby's nearby smell did not indicate proximity. Zwei jumped much too early at the opportunity and royally screwed up the plan. While not a severe setback per se, his understanding that all things adorable, when it came to the masculinity and physique, was a major no-no.

Zwei had no other choice than to assert dominance by showing the fruits of Jaune's labors and reveal the treasure trove of tendons and fibers hiding inside. Here was hoping the scent of sweat paid off. So he moved while his target hadn't yet stood up. Marching forward, both the humans paused and watched him bite down on both the collar and shirt underneath his hoodie before he yoinked them off and ran like the wind, leaving one _cute _Arc shirtless.

Extreme measures!

Zwei ran like the wind, hopping over obstacles with Jaune's clothing flapping in the wind. It took a few seconds for either of the two to realize what just happened, going from stunned to not-so-stunned in the blink of an eye. Jaune promptly jumped to his feet to chase after him with Ruby zooming across the field with rose petals in her wake. Zwei accepted the challenge. Outrunning the Arc would prove easy, but maneuvering free from his owner's pesky Semblance was another challenge. Eventually, he would be caught but ran until then.

Time to work up a sweat!

Run, Arc, run! Chase after his tail. Work up a sweat! Huh? He lunged forward. Oops! He missed and hit a bush. Better luck next time. Oh? Jaune was already on his feet again? Impressive. Bits of his hair was ruffled up with scratch marks on his body, but adrenaline kept him going. Zwei drooled while rolling out of the way. All according to plan.

Ruby, on the other hand, posed a more prominent challenge. Instincts kept Zwei narrowly on the edge of her hands. Aura infused stubby legs helped, but in all honesty, the vegetation and his small stature were the authentic top dog. When she appeared in a flutter of rose petals, Zwei ran through her opened legs before she managed to grab him. Soon she would wise up to that trick and up her tactics, but until then, he slid through the opening and dashed away with his tail wagging.

His impulses pushed him to run into the nearby woods.

Trees. Trees everywhere! Zwei wagged his tail between the choices, dodging left and right. Left-and-right! Into the dirt, the humans went, with Ruby ending up in a prickly rose bush. Irony? Two paws up. Jaune only tripped and crashed into a tree, so one paw up. They both got to their feet quickly enough, he expected nothing less, and finally figured on working together to catch this runaway. Right then and there he knew his ticket was up, so to have some fun, and to make sure the hoodie did not get worn, Zwei drooled over the threaded outfit and hid behind a tree. He dug his paws into the dirt and readied up like a spring, waiting for his owner to make a move.

_Snap!_

Zwei heard a nearby twig snap, and he throttled full speed, narrowly avoiding her itchy fingers. Ruby had tried wrapping her arms around the tree, tree hugger to the extreme, to catch him. He appreciated the sentiment of guaranteed splinters, but persisted on chugging away. Then a shirtless Jaune appeared from his right, already flying through the air with his arms stretched out. Zwei knew what to do, and it involved running on his face and over his back, only to find Ruby following his shadow with her hands outstretched, too.

"Gotcha!"

Tiny arms wrapped around Zwei with a face pressed against his snout. She tackled him out the air, falling upon Jaune's back with Zwei unable to escape between the combined weight of two opposing bodies.

When in doubt, wiggle out.

At least Zwei tried his darn hardest, creating annoying friction with his fur, Jaune's skin, and Ruby's corset, but not even Remnant's number one corgi stood a chance once his owner sunk her claws into his pokey flesh, and Ruby pinched hard. She squeezed him until he almost popped, grinning with that of a feral Blake. He knew when his duck was cooked, Duck Expert and all, and gave up.

Ruby offered a celebratory _ha _and grinned in victory. She swooped the pooped out Zwei and waved her finger in a non-threatening way. Jaune didn't share her enthusiasm, getting up from the floor with dirt and aches from training, and then chasing, plus having Ruby and Zwei jump on his back hardly helped, and he wanted nothing more than a hot shower.

Breathing heavily, he wiped excessive sweat from his forehead and away from his bangs. It took them nearly ten minutes to catch Zwei, but Ruby, after much tossup and tripping, finally held the corgi close to her chest in a death-grip kind of way, covered in dirt. He struggled, kicking his tiny paws excessively in the open air. Cute, but ineffective. Ruby was short, but Zwei was tiny. Oh well, couldn't win them all. Not with a speedster on the opponent's team.

"Hey Ruby, can I get my hoodie?"

She ripped it out and twirled on her soles. "Sure! One hoodie! All set and—?!"

He had extended his hand out, but Ruby was drawing a blank. Zwei only huffed in sweet, sweet triumph.

Scent worked wonders in the Animal Kingdom. All-natural sweat gave off a fragrance, a powerful receptive that triggered stimulation to the opposite sex. Most humans scoffed at the aroma, but the right combination turned into pheromones. Males released such a scent, and the humans gave it a funny name; androstenone, a peculiar title on its own, but it rolled off the tongue nicely enough. Ruby subconsciously noticed the odor when Jaune sniffed his dirt covered arm. Her eyes fell upon his hand before following his biceps and body.

A pleasing physique and a hefty amount of androstenone were somewhat unfair to a pubescent female, more so on one currently experiencing increased dopamine, but it was a dog eat dog world. Playing fair, nope, not a chance, nu-uh, not in his vocabulary.

Chiseled features covered in sweat bombarded the unprepared Huntress. Ruby tried to figure out the mystery before her as it moved to stand in her comfort zone. What happened to Mr. Tall, Blond and Scraggly? Who was this Mr. Tall, Blond and Bulky guy? Noodles were supposed to be limp and slurped, not lean and thick. Dust! Ruby had a powerful desire to lick them instead. Maybe run her tongue over them and—gah!

She bit her lip in frustration.

Pyrrha's workouts have been doing his body wonders. She weakly protested her eyes idea to travel south. Probability of stopping that came close to negative five percent. Zwei grinned through it all. Her heart hammered with her cheeks growing impossibly pink. She tried her darn hardest not to reach out and run her fingers between the crevices of fiber and rough skin. Pecs, well-defined, and hard, darn sweat worked against her, and she loathed—loved—how much broader, taller, and bulkier he was than her lithe, soft body. Mother Nature's cruel design worked against her, and Zwei delighted the way her chest thumped with his ear flatly pressed against her chest. Her fingers threatened to rip into the threading of his drool-soaked hoodie. Protuberant shoulders arched her eyes up to a bewildered Arc.

Dense Jaune was dense. "Ruby? My clothes?"

"Oh! Ah-ah! Here! Take them!"

She pushed the hoodie in his hand and lingered her fingers to acquire a rough estimate on how much bigger his hands were compared to hers. He never noticed. Vomit Boy only grabbed his outfit to inspect the damage. Funny. Even after all that chasing and crashing, Jaune grimaced at the shirt and hoodie combo. All of his sweat made him feel sticky, and the last thing he wanted was to put on another two layers on top of that, especially since Zwei intentionally drool all over them. Even Ruby seemed flustered from all the running, face bright red from exhaustion. So instead he swung the articles over his shoulder and pointed awkwardly toward the dorms.

"I'm going to go take a quick shower."

"Okay." Ruby said a little too quickly.

He didn't register it. "Hey? We're still on for tomorrow, right?"

Ruby paused. Tomorrow? Oh! Vale! Tomorrow! Right, right. "Yup! Be prepared. I'm waking your butt up bright and early."

He awkwardly sighed at the announced wakeup call and headed back to his dorm while feeling self-conscious about his body compared to all the students who didn't fake their way into this academy, but it beat wearing a drool covered hoodie. Unknown to him, Ruby watched him work those back muscles as he walked away, scratching shoulder blades and cracking joints after such an intense workout. She never understood the phrase of a tall drink of water until right this moment. Who knew a sweat covered body could be so fascinating? To think he planned to wash that off with soap and hot water—and her tomato hue deepened. Not as deep as those crevices in his rough skin, thick and tight, but enough to match her namesake.

Zwei drooled successfully in his owner's ever-tightening grip.

Physical appeal. Rudimentary. Barebone tactics, Mother Nature's design made such things necessities, but results looked promising. Effectiveness outweighed embarrassment, and besides, her elevated heart rate painted a pretty picture. Got the ball rolling as humans would say.

He never saw the meaning behind that quote. Why roll the ball when throwing it was so much better? Eh, he wagged his tail at another successful mission. Bark! Bark! Playing dead. Oldest trick in the book.

Later, in the safety of their room, Ruby gave Zwei an extra treat with a scratch behind the ears and didn't question why. Nor did any of her teammates realize, when walking into a freshly-showered steam-free room, that she chose to take a cold shower that night before going to bed.

…

Zwei got licking down to an artform.

Not so long after the hoodie incident, Ruby showered and dropped like a sack of bricks. Depending on where he nudged or licked her skin, her dreams changed from giggling to acting coy to begging for more, but this wasn't always a viable option. Sometimes she dreamed of other stuff, like heroic adventures or not studying for a test and some underwear nonsense. Zwei never pushed during those, finding no need, but luckily, those dreams became less frequent over time. Most nights, her thoughts shifted on Jaune with her pillow regularly coated in a layer of what he dubbed Happy Drool. Tonight, however, his nose picked up the scent of human pheromones.

When Zwei nudged Ruby's neck, and she moaned instead of giggling or smiling or throwing her arms up in a pose, he quietly moved back with his tail lowering. Ruby squirmed in her sleep with a tint of red between her cheeks. Whatever dream she was having was not playful in any means. No giggling or laughing or smiles, but her embarrassment seemed enjoyable. Zwei suspected the missing shirt incident caused this change. The way she bit her lip, followed by hot-and-bothered breaths with goosebumps, plus her fingers scratching and digging down into the cotton, indicated the typical symptom of the heating cycle.

Ruby Rose was having a naughty dream about Jaune Arc.

Zwei knew his assistance was not required as her roaming hands betrayed her sensitive body in the most deplorable of ways and quietly made himself a spot on the bed, far away so as not to disturb her. Part of her pajama top rode up with her skin sweating. She thrashed her head weakly on her pillow, growing bolder by the second.

"Filthy girls... do you like filthy girls, Jaune?" Ruby quietly fidgeted before moaning into her pillow. "Because... I could be your filthy girl."

Zwei almost drifted off right then and there if it wasn't for Weiss snorting in her sleep. Ruby's mumbling made her brows furrowed into her blanket. A tight frown accompanied her. Her partner usually only made gibberish late at night, so Weiss regularly slept through most of it, but Ruby's moan worked against her delicate ears. Not just her, too, but Blake and Yang as well. All of them reacted to Ruby's groaning and moaning. All of them knew how to tease, prod, and ask questions at the same time.

His owner couldn't keep a secret to save her short life.

After the first grunt, Ruby kept moaning his name out between bursts of air, and the others would have woken up if Zwei didn't crawl underneath her pillow and push the cotton protection over her mouth. He kept at it, her too, muffling her sounds and constant words of _harder _and _faster_, knowing his owner embarrassed easily with an embarrassment hunting older sister sleeping a few feet away. Zwei almost gave up but remembered why he started this journey of the thousand paws, to keep Ruby from feeling lonely. Stubby legs pushed onward, muting the vocal drifter with his ears flat and drool free.

Zwei knew he had a long night ahead of him when Ruby speculated another round in her dreams.

Many hours later, Ruby woke up first with her shirt pushed up, skin sweaty, and undergarments soaked. Bits of the lucid dream flashed before her eyes, and she shot up and _eeped _to having most of her front exposed. Blankets got pulled up to cover herself as her head frantically swished back-and-forth in the room. No one stirred. No one moved. Not even Zwei, panting from exhaustion. A quick check of her pulse and undergarments later, and she quietly jumped out of bed to meet Jaune for their trip to Vale, hoping to Dust her cheeks stopped burning.

Zwei barely registered her dash to the bathroom, falling asleep instantly the moment she woke up. What a long night of being a dutiful watchdog.

That very morning Ruby couldn't look Jaune in the eyes. Either she glanced away or ignored him with her face tomato-red, finding the filthy floor more exciting than those ocean eyes that deflowered her dream body against a wall, fingers dug deep into his shoulders with her legs wrapped around his waist, skirt and panties limping, hanging off one of her ankles. Even once using her Semblance to run away when he accidentally bumped into her shoulder. Not once could he make heads or tails of the situation, checking to see if he had put on enough deodorant after yesterday's fiasco.

Zwei nevertheless handed it to his owner. They still went out to buy their stuff. So a win in his book. If the dog noticed a few more body brushing between comics and weaponry, then he wisely chewed Weiss' homework at the thought.

…

Zwei knew it was time to wrap things up.

It all came to him during a dream. Not in the fantasy itself, but a flier to some monster movie hit in squarely in the face, interrupting his snooze in the open field. Zwei almost ripped the paper into confetti, but once he noticed the designs of skyscraper-sized beasts, everything clicked in place. A date, a gathering, or whatever it was that humans called it. Something fundamental that even Yang, Weiss, and Chewtoy Blake enjoyed, too, except for Jaune and Ruby, and he knew the perfect venue.

Biting down on the advertisement, he dashed toward his owner, jumping into her lap as she cleaned that overly sized garden tool of hers. He snuggled before rolling on his back, exposing the flier on his tummy with his paws up and tail flipping. Ruby instantly smiled and grabbed the object.

"Hey Zwei, whatcha got there?" Ruby read over the article, and her eyes lit up. "Whoa! That new monster movie came out! I should totally ask our friends if they want to go watch it."

A tail ceased wagging.

Uh-oh.

That backfired.

No. No, no. No, no, no. Not friends. Friend. Singular. As in only one, exclusively Jaune Arc. Zwei almost headbutted her right in the nose. Some humans needed their hands held until the very end. Instead, she patted him for a job well done and raced off to tell her friends. Maybe he would get lucky? Perhaps her pack would be spending time with their mates?

Zwei quickly found out that wasn't the case. Suddenly now they all wanted to spend time with their leader. _A movie sounds like a great idea_, Yang had said. _Whatever_, Chewtoy Blake added. So on and so forth, until everyone, including Team JNPR, had agreed to the monster flick in a few hours. Well, those were going to be some broken promises.

Zwei would make sure of that.

**...**

Obstacles were inevitable.

Zwei started with Weiss Schnee.

Defeating her proved puppy's play. Zwei only needed to scavenge her bag until he found the holy nibbles of her demise, aka, her history homework. Nothing more than a bark attracted her attention away from the mirror, and before she could rip the homework out of his drooling jaws, he tore the paper to shreds in an animalistic display fitting for a puppy sized corgi. Weiss quickly switched over to cold-hearted Heiress in the blink of an eye.

"Zwei! Bad dog!" Puppy dog pout. "Oh! It's okay! I love you."

Only to switch over back to spoiling princess.

One down. Four more to go.

**…**

Distracting Ren and Nora required a more delicate touch.

By that, he meant one of Yang's motorcycle gloves.

Zwei snuck into the kitchen where Ren was making Nora's customary sneak-in-theater snacks as the girl licked the battered-spoon, holding Yang's leather biker glove between his teeth while hiding underneath a lone trolley. Both had their backs turned with Ren adding the finishing touches and Nora getting covered with a mixture of batter and airborne flour. Stains stuck to Ren, too, cheeks to both his hands, but he wore an apron that said _I've lost control of my life_. So saving him was far beyond his puppy power reach. Zwei could only benefit his already chain-and-ball lifestyle, hence the glove.

Zwei loved Nora.

She spoiled him and used him as practice on her hammer to launch things far and wide. Ruby sometimes acted too _delicate _for his baser animal urges, never fighting, only play sparring. Nora had no idea what that word meant. She never held back or gave up nor surrendered.

The poor girl deserved this more than anyone else.

So Zwei bunched his legs together underneath the cooking trolley and waited for his opportunity to strike. He didn't have to wait long. Nora, due to her short nature, bent over the kitchen top to reach for something, posing her posterior out. Once she leaned on the tippy-toes of her boots, Zwei shot forward like a canon and twisted his head with the glove moving to that resembling a meteorite.

_Slap!_

Nora's head shot upward, appearing like a deer caught in the headlights. Someone just slapped her butt. She swiftly swirled around to find Ren still mixing the pancake batter with meticulous twirling. Zwei hid underneath the cart while she searched with an oblivious Ren cooking in the background. Every corner of the kitchen received a second and third glance, but none of the doors were flapping, and no edges allowed for anyone to hide. She tentatively reached back and rubbed her bottom, glaring quite stubbornly at Ren. Not in anger, but acute curiosity, almost as if she couldn't believe that happened.

Slowly, she moved back to her spot and figured her overactive imagination might have tricked her. Desperation made people go crazy.

Zwei forced his tail still so it wouldn't hit the trolley and alert his presence. The first phase of his plan went on without a hitch, get the seeds planted, but now the second focused on silently walking around the flour-covered floor with the glove sliding on the floor. Hardly a problem. Tiny stature and a ground drenched flour dampened any sound his body might make. Soon Yang's black glove looked positively white. All part of his design.

Now to wait for his chance to strike while the marshmallow iron was still hot.

Zwei waited. He shot a look over to Ren, waiting for him to take an experimental taste of the batter, knowing full well the Lie took pride in his cooking. When he dipped his pinkie finger and tasted the mixture, sporting a contemplative grin, Zwei moved for an encore. This time he added extra _oomph _and added Aura into the strike, slapping her behind with enough force to cause her to jump on her toes. Fortunate, too, because it gave him ample time to slide underneath the trolley and watch the scene unfold.

Nora spun like a hurricane once she landed on her feet, zeroing her sights straight on Ren who sported a tiny smile, mostly hidden from the side. She arched her rump back to notice a floury handprint on her butt. Then she zippered her lips shut and glared over at Ren. She had a flour handprint on her bottom. His hand was coated in powder. No one else was in the kitchen, not a soul in sight.

Putting two-and-two together, her lips stretched until a million-watt smile overtook each corner of her mouth. Nora vibrated in place, acting like unbonded electrons.

"Finally!"

"Hm—gah!"

_Thwomp!_

Nora glomped Ren onto the stained tile floor, kissing Ren for all he was worth. Her tiny body tightly hugged his larger frame, squishing every inch of her generous softness like a sloth. His quivery hand reached out for stability, grabbing the napkin that held the bowl, and accidentally pulled it down. Pancake contents spilled and covered the two in a sticky, battery mess while Zwei quietly walked away. Nora refused to stop, making cute moans while dripping in her favorite foods. Her boldness grew as her tongue turned desperate. The last thing Zwei saw before the flip-floppy doors finally stopped opening and closing, was Ren's flour-covered hand coming around to grab the other cheek not covered in powder.

Only three targets left.

…

Today the Invincible Girl would fall to Remnant's Bestest Corgi!

Zwei made sure of that by sneaking into Team JNPR's room and tearing apart all her homework. Unlike the rest of her team of ne'er-do-wells, Pyrrha Nikos prided herself on her prestigious degree of academics. She bore the same vulnerability as Weiss Schnee, only amped up to eleven. A few tears of her reports, maybe some hiding of her homework, chewed pencils, got to have chewed pencils, and Zwei marched out of that room with his head held up high, only to run into Chewtoy Blake.

She glared down at the puppy and then toward the destroyed reports and papers of Pyrrha Nikos with, amber eyes squinting hard. Suspicion arose, feline instincts were on an all-time high, and then Zwei moved past her, into their room, and came out with one of her books. Somehow her pupils turned into that of slits, but he pushed the volume toward her instead. A bow, her bow, twitched, but she reached down and picked up the book, drool free with the corners not chewed on, before sharing a look with her longtime tormenter.

A truce passed between them, and Nearsighted Blake saw nothing. Too many books have diminished her eyesight. If only a corgi had been around to steal her books. Colorblinded Zwei never noticed her shadow clone switching places with her.

Five down. Only one left.

…

Yang Xiao Long.

Between the others, she would be the greatest challenge.

Unlike the others, she developed resistance to his puppy dog eyes and refused to bend to the whim of all things adorable. She must be put down before the hour of reckoning came, but how? The hour drew near. Zwei waited outside with his leash in mouth, hoping to somehow persuade Yang in giving him a walk. No dice. She knelt and patted him on the head, immune to his pout and whine. Oh well, Zwei dropped his leash around her feet, better luck next time.

Yang noticed his sad face and rubbed his neck. "Aw! Don't worry, Zwei, we'll play fetch when we get back, okay?"

Fetch sounded fun, and on any other day, he would have eagerly licked her face, but he only mustered up a half-hearted wag of his tail. She took that as a good sign and mindlessly checked her Scroll for the time. Unbeknownst to her, her terrible troublemaker noticed his leash somewhat wrapped around her ankle. That curtseyed had somehow tangled his leash with her boot. Now did he have the guts to go through with his sudden insane-in-the-membrane idea? Was this his golden noodle opportunity?

_Oh. I'm sorry, Zwei. I kinda zoned out there, huh?_

_He's nice, huh? And kind, and tall, like a noodle—but strong, and a bit of a dork. But don't tell him I told you that, okay? It's our little secret. _

Zwei just realized why Courage lived in constant fear. Protecting what was precious required sacrifice, keeping the ones that mattered happy was a thankless job, but a dog had to do what a dog had to do. Be it fighting Grimm, keeping the monsters away at night, snuggling up to stop the nightmares, or doing something incredibly stupid.

Today he became a total moron.

Zwei wiggled his butt and dashed forward.

Huh? Yang felt her entire world flipped on her side from one second to the next. Down she went in a ninety-degree angle, eye wide. A tugging sensation spread from her ankle, pulling like a weight of bricks. She looked to her side just on time for Zwei dash forward in a fiery blaze, taking her with him in a topsy turvy chase around Beacon. Turbulence rushed toward her body, and she flailed her arms up. Grabbing onto the surface proved fruitless, Zwei was too strong for simple concrete to hold him back.

"Heel, Zwei! Heel, boy! Watch out for the bushes! The bushes, Zwei!" Yang shielded her body from the sunny sunflowers. She ended up spitting out stems. "Ah! Stop, boy!"

Zwei ignored her for the greater good, jumping into Beacon's fountain before hopping out the other end. In Yang went, spurting out some water once freed, drenched to the bone, and the fun was only beginning. He moved relentlessly, pulling just hard enough so she could not maneuver herself upright to grab the leash, but not firm enough for her to use her Aura or Semblance. Not yet at least, but maybe after a trip through the mud?

_Splash!_

Yang screamed as mud coated her body down to her last line of hair. She saw red, then brown, and then thorns when Zwei ran through a set of prize-winning rose bushes. Every few seconds she grunted from impacting the floor, bouncing like some Saturday morning cartoon. When he fled into the nearby woodlands, and Yang collided into the aged bark, her eyes burned. Fingers gripped nearby wood with her tugging the leash back, Semblance ablaze in righteous fury. Zwei whimpered when all of his momenta halted. Maybe that second helping of mud wasn't the bestest of ideas? She thought so, pulling the dog back with a sinister grin and bringing them face-to-face. Twigs protruded out of her filthy hair, and the mud on her skin hardened before cracking from the fiery Aura she released.

Zwei licked her nose.

If possible, a tick mark appeared over her twitching eye, and Zwei feared for the worse. Not the newspaper or the vacuum cleaner! Then, as if Lady Luck didn't feel like getting off her high horse yet, out of her peripheral vision, Yang saw Jaune and Ruby heading to a nearby Bullhead, alone. Outer turned to tunnel vision, and her mind halted.

"Wait? Hold up, is that Ruby and Jaune?"

Where were the rest of her friends? Shouldn't the whole gang be going to the movies? Weiss and maybe Blake-y she could understand, possibly Ren, but not Pyrrha, and especially not Nora. Neither one of those redheads would miss the chance to bond and watch movies. Judging by the way Ruby hovered near Jaune, much closer than usual, it looked it—she narrowed her sights—it looked like a date. Suddenly Yang forgot all about Zwei and dropped the pooch to approach the two dorks.

On the floor, Zwei saw his plans beginning to crumble, and he could not do a thing to stop Yang. Once she moved beyond the initial anger and got straight to the merciless teasing, Ruby would hide in her shell, and nothing would come out of it. A friendship would be strained and tarnished forever. So close. So tail wagging close!

_Bonk!_

Two sets of eyes grew. Zwei looked up, and Yang peeked down to spot a single acorn resting on the floor.

"Ow! What the heck?" Yang picked up the object and blinked. It was a nut. "Where'd this come from?"

A second one came, then a third, followed by a fourth until a downpour of acorns rained down on the heated Huntress. She never had a chance to retaliate. Zwei winced once a pile took root and buried Yang underneath an avalanche of acorns. Only an arm remained free from the stockpile, unmoving. After going through Zwei's chase, Yang hadn't the strength to stay vigilant. Her one forelimb attempted for freedom, but a squirrel, and not just any squirrel, but the Squirrel King whistled and buried the appendage in more nutty goodness. He jumped down from the trees, landing on the pile of nuts, and chirped to the still stunned dog.

Barks and chirps passed. Zwei dumbly nodded. Satisfied, the squirrel looked back to the kind human who saved his species from the black-and-white terror and felt his debt repaid. While Zwei was massive, they were plentiful and had not missed the displays. They knew of Zwei's plan from the start. Never mess with squirrels.

Conker, the Squirrel King, saluted Zwei and wished him a friendly chirp before jumping back into the trees.

Ruby and Jaune went to the movies uninterrupted.

Zwei checked his surroundings before fetching Chewtoy Blake to retrieve her partner.

…

Zwei waited outside the Bullhead landing pad for hours in preparation of Ruby and Jaune's arrival from the movies, and not in fear of Yang's person once she woke up.

He couldn't hold still as soon as he noticed the blimp in his vision growing bigger. Zwei ran in circles. Once the Bullhead touched down on the floor, out stepped his two dorks, smiles all around. Ruby's mood instantly brightened when she spotted her number one pup, dropping down to her knees to scratch Zwei behind the ears.

She cooed. "Hey Zwei, did you wait for us? Oh, I'm so sorry, boy. The movie was great, and we had so much fun. We ended up getting hungry, and that's why we're late. I would've come home sooner if I had known you were waiting up."

His head tilted. Movie and dinner? Things were looking up. Zwei stubbornly licked her nose, and she laughed, handing over his leash to a grinning Jaune. He didn't even question it, stuck to the routine of giving Zwei walks. They traveled under the moonlight, and she hovered near Jaune for warmth with the dummy giving her his hoodie. At this point, Zwei felt like a third wheel but kept a watchful eye on the two. Nothing happened except for them discussing scenes in the movie with Jaune even roaring and stretching above Ruby as she giggled to the display. The dog would have left them be if it wasn't for them approaching the main building. Yang was more than ready to ask questions once she woke up from her nap, so while the all-natural approach worked well for others, he decided on a final nudge.

Zwei abruptly turned to shift Jaune into Ruby, using the leash to maneuver the Arc's arm around his owner's waist before either knew what happened, pretending to chase a butterfly. Awkwardness heated everything about them, and the dog drooled happily at the tone shifting scene as he sniffed a nearby tree with Conker watching from the branches. Jaune's arm remained fixed on Ruby's tiny waist, unmoving with her hands resting on his chest and body leaning forward.

"Ha-ha." Ruby blushed a minute later. "Hey, just so you know, things have been kinda weird."

"... Weird?"

"But in a good way! I mean, I like it." Ruby fumbled with the thread of his hoodie. An infinite array of emotions flickered in those glittering eyes of hers. "Do you?"

Jaune didn't answer. Ruby chewed her lip waiting for a response. He appeared to be leaning down but froze midway, perhaps waiting to see if Ruby would meet him halfway. Her lips parted, her toes pushed her up, but she hesitated. Zwei scratched his ears in annoyance.

Paw holding until the very end.

One, two, two-and-a-half, three! Zwei charged forward and headbutted Ruby's butt to make her _eep _and crash her lips amongst Jaune's. Two sets of awkward glances exploded in expansion, gradually withering away until mouths meshed more clumsily. Eyelids drooped. Mouths pressed. The dorks melted into the embrace, turning chaste into something more with the Arc taking hold of Ruby's delicate waist with both his arms as she leaned everything she had into his built frame, wrapping her arms around his neck. Both forgot about Zwei. The hound cared not, howling in the background.

They eventually broke for air, panting in exhaustion.

"You're weird, but I like you." Jaune answered.

She grinned. "Vomit Boy."

"Crater Face."

This time Jaune Arc pulled Ruby Rose into a searing kiss that left her toes curling for more.

Zwei's work was officially over.

* * *

**Author Notes:** This ended up being like five thousand more words than I had anticipated. Time to work on the Poll Winner.


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